WE ARE!!!!!

Sorry for the down time there! Things got crazy, shots were taken, and Drunk Sports Guys blacked out. We’ll try not to let it happen next time, but you know us alcoholics

We are back up and fully running so please commence reading and trash talking… and as always POUNDING BEERS BRAHHHH!!!!!

Sincerely,

Your Designated “Drunk Guy”.

The season series is tied 1-1. Both are fighting for the #3 spot in the West and looking to make a deep run in the post season. Both have incredible talent and one particular superstar. Both are from Los Angeles. One will make it out, one won’t.

Tonight is thee statement game of the season for these two teams who share the Staples Center. This is a playoff game that is expected to be as chippy as they come and as ruthless as they come. It’s a battle for LA and both teams have more to prove and nothing to lose as they face off tonight at 7:30pt.

<end cheesy movie voice and introduction>

Being a Lakers fan, I effin’ HATE the Clippers.

I hate that they share the Staples Center. I hate their stupid uniforms, especially those ugly powder blue throwbacks. I hate their logo. I hate that they stole Chris Paul from the Lakers (thanks Stern, aka – TROLL). I hate that they are actually contending. I hate that they are taking up too much space in LA.

I wish nothing but loss for the Clippers tonight and in this post season. I would love for a Laker victory and win of the series between these two LA teams. I would love to brag about how the Lakers “one-upped” the Clips going 2-1 in the season. You guys catchin’ my drift?

Tonight is one of the most important and anticipated games for both the Lakers and the Clippers. Tonight will draw the line of who is and isn’t the “bigger brother” of LA and I’m really hoping that with they way the Lakers have been playing this season so far they don’t get dethroned.

The Lakers are the obvious kings of LA (besides hockey… it’s in their name). They have the most storied franchise in the NBA with the most superstars and Championships this side of the US. Clippers have…. Chris Paul, had Barry, and no Championships.

Kobe and Chris Paul have been “the man” for their teams lately and stepped up for some game winners. Both teams have been playing equally as well with Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum, and Ramon Sessions being clutch starters for the Lakers and Griffin, Butler, and Foye catching fire for the Clips.

It’s bound to be a shit show with attitudes like Griffin, Paul, and Jordan’s clashing with World Peace, Barnes, and Kobe’s. I can’t wait to see it in action!

Tune in tonight at 7:30pt on ESPN to watch the Lakers battle the Clippers at Staples Center. This is bound to be the best game of the season for either fan!

Callin’ it: Lakers 104, Clippers 99

Manning turned out to be the real deal. After going 3-13 in 1997 and 1998, Peyton lead the Colts to a 13-3 record in 1999, which was one of the biggest turnarounds in NFL history. Now that he was teamed up with Marvin Harrison and Edgerrin James, the Colts made the playoffs 11 out of 12 years, only missing the post season in 2001. The Colts became synonymous with winning, and it was largely because of Peyton Manning. He had become one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time and is sure to be a first ballot hall of famer. Indianapolis loved their QB so much that they rewarded with a 5 year $90 million contract even though he was injured at the time. This placed Manning and Tom Brady as the highest paid quarterbacks in the league. Anyone would have told you at the time that it was the right thing to do. Manning was the Colts, and they needed to make sure to keep him in a Colt uniform for life. Unfortunately for Colts fans everywhere, Manning’s neck injury turned out to be much more serious that they originally thought, and he was unable to play the entire 2011-2012 season. Without Manning, the Colts went 2-14, good for the worst record in the NFL. Along with the  NFL’s worst record came with the rights to draft Stanford’s Andrew Luck; the most NFL ready quarterback since, well, Peyton Manning.  This fact, along with the fact that the Colts were required to pay Manning $28 million if they kept him on the team under his current contract made own Jim Irsay cut Indy’s golden boy much easier. While Manning had given the Colts 13 years of his blood sweat and tears, at the end of the day, the NFL is still a business and dollars speak louder than words.

As soon as Manning was released, teams across the NFL began vying for Peyton’s affections. Miami was one of the teams in the greatest need of a QB, and they became the early front runner. Then the attention shifted to the Washington Redskins, who are lucky enough to be owned by Dan Snyder, who loves overpaying aging veterans. That died down and then the Tennessee Titans became the front runners due to his college ties to Tennessee and his southern ways. But at the end of the day, it was the Denver Broncos who won the Manning sweepstakes, and all it took was a 5 year, $96 million contract.

Now don’t get me wrong, Manning was a great player and no one can ever deny that, but neck issues are serious.He has had four procedures to correct the problem that we know about and there is no telling if there was more. One big hit could potentially end Manning’s career or worse. While the Broncos are off the hook for future seasons if Manning’s neck problems prevent him from playing, it is still a major gamble. Manning is set to make $18 million in his first season, making him tied once again for the highest paid QB in the league with Tom Brady. While the Manning of 2004 might have been worth $18 million, to say he is still worth that is ludicrous. It’s like buying a brand new Bugatti for $1.8 million, crashing it into a wall, trying to repair it four times, and then selling it to someone else for $1.8 million with a salvaged title.  There is no telling how the car is going to run after four repairs and there’s no telling how Manning is going to throw after four surgeries.

I hope for the sake of the Broncos and their fans that the Manning of old comes back with a vengeance and Number 18 starts looking like the Number 7 of Broncos lore, but don’t be surprised if the Broncos start looking like the pre-Tebow version of themselves last year. Worst case scenario, they could always bring Elway down from the booth…

After the 3 from Fisher that sent the game into overtime, I ran to the bathroom, closed the door, and yelled as loud as I could. After being made fun of for being a Laker fan in that bar and hearing constant “Beat LA” all night, Fisher had shut them up. This was the greatest Laker game I had ever seen. Lakers went on to win the Championship the next game in Orlando.

Thanks Fish for the memories…

With that being said, I hope you lose tonight Fisher.

Clippers claim that the guy is making a fortune using the “Clipper” name without consent from the team. I suppose given how horrible the Clippers have been for the past billion years the amount of profit Darrell is receiving is financially crippling the Clippers organization.

Now, people make money off of sports teams all the time. Tons of people made money off of USC from the sanctions by creating shirts that read “You Can’t Sanction the Endzone” and “Bowls are for Salad”. Also, who can remember the infamous “FUCLA” shirts?

On a much larger scale mini shirt entrepreneurs have been making bank of of “LakeShow” and “Black Mamba” shirts for years. Lakers don’t mind. Why should the Clippers.

Can you imagine painting your house, spending $12,000 to refinish your car, buying a custom colored team suit, buying season tickets for a decade of your favorite team just to be called by them asking you to stop being their biggest fan?

Darrell Bailey can.

Darrell stated on his website:

“I have been told by Clipper management they no longer want me to be Clipper Darrell, a name that was given to me by the media because of my unwavering support and team spirit,” he wrote. “I am devastated!”

While Clippers players showed their support in Tweeting:

Chris Paul - ”WE GOT YOU!!!”

Blake Griffin - ”Bring back #ClipperDarrell”

DeAndre Jordan - ”I love you Clipper Darrell&#ClipperDarrell.”

To me its just kind of sad that the Clippers look at this dude as a financial threat and a constant menace to their team. Before Chris Paul, Billups, and hell even Griffin showed up this guy was the only fan the Clippers had! If it wasn’t for this guy buying season tickets for a decade the Clippers wouldn’t have been able to continually operate as a ball club!

Instead of saying no thank you Clippers, you should be saying thank you. This guy single handily promotes and gets the Clippers basketball name out there by showing up at birthday parties, painting his house and car those ridiculous Clippers colors, and you don’t even have to pay him!!!

Here are some pics of his ridiculous car that he spent $12,000 converting into an ugly “Clipper Mobile”:

This kid has what you would say, “A face only his mother could love.” Alabama basketball loves him. Opponents fear him and his giant glaring-beerfaced-eye bulging replica of a cardboard cut out of his head, and now he is famous in the world that is NCAA basketball.

I almost deem this kid as kind of a superhero. Of course we can all see his face, but who is he?

Yesterday a friend of mine, Sean Barley, sent me a link to a picture and said, “Mike my dear friend, this needs to go on your drunk sports blog.” I was hesitant to even consider for one second that what Sean had believed to be “drunk guy worthy” was even worth 10 pixels of space on my site because the guy just isn’t a sports fan. Now no disrespect or dishonor to my dear friend Sean, but he just isn’t. I would say, “Man! Did you see Bynum wreck the boards last night?” And Sean would just sit there like a dear in headlights, kind of look away for a second, and then look back at me as if I was wearing nothing but my underwear and a neon pink hat while I was attempting to dance the dougie.

Upon clicking the link I expected something pretty funny as every link Sean sends me is usually pretty hilarious. But this, this was pure gold and had everything to do with sports. Matter of fact, Sean had hit the soul of sports and what makes is tick: The Common Sports Fanatic. My computer monitor beamed of this brilliant image and I completely lost all control of my bowels.

It was something we had all seen before. It was nothing new except for one thing.

THE FACE.

I will attempt to explain no further. For I can not even begin to describe the undeniable hilariousness of what you are about to experience. Please, come a little closer to your computer monitor and gander at this while trying desperately not to pee your pants.

Remember, the longer you stare the funnier it gets. Have some self control and pace yourself.

Ladies and Gentleman, Sean and I give you:

THE ULTIMATE SPORTS FANATIC: THE FACE

Oh, and here is a video of this marvel in live action!

So  brace yourself.

What. A. Dunk.

Did Kendrick Perkins even see that one coming? Yes, we all know that Blake Griffin is a stellar player and super dunker. I know it and I hate it. I hate it like when I was in elementary school and saw the most annoying kid in class with a crowd of girls around him because his mom made the most amazing cupcakes. I hate it like a fat kid hates broccoli.

I hate it like, Damn! Wish that dude was on the Lakers.

Bynum for Griffin? Eh?

Wouldn’t solve our PG problem but sure would add more aggressiveness to the Lakers game, something that Pau Gasol and Bynum lack 70% of the time.

Blake Griffin is annoying. He’s a bugger, a nail scratcher, a pest, and a rodent scrounging around for any and all scraps on the court. This is why I hate him. I envy the Clippers because they have such a player. Griffin is the reason I can’t, for the life of me, stay sober during Lakers vs. Clippers games.

So with that ridiculous self loathing rant of jealousy.

I give you,

The Dunk that was Heard Around the World:

So then that would mean that Pau Gasol is not the grandfather as well.

Just to clarify.

Chris Paul, grow the hell up. Are you serious? Was he serious? He got in a little tiff with Pau Gasol in the 4th quarter because he couldn’t stand the fact that his team was losing the game so he threw a temper tantrum in front of the whole world. Gasol then patted his head as if to say, “We cool, we good.” Chris Paul then swatted his had away and then frazzled Pau’s hair as he stormed off the court ignoring Kobe Bryant’s words, “Cool down brah!”

The Lakers let the Clippers know that they are still the bigger brother of LA in a 96 – 91 win. Sure you can say that the Clippers beat them 2 – 0 in the preseason and already beat them in their first season meeting, but the Lakers clearly said enough was enough Wednesday night.

Gasol was playing like a beast leaving any though of “softness” for the birds and the Lakers also found a gem embedded within their bench in Andrew Goudelock. Gasol finished with 23 points and 10 rebounds while Goudelock scored a season high 14.

Chris Paul might as well have sat out another night because of his pulled hammy scoring a lowly 4 points. Blake Griffin again bedazzled the CEO of Kia by dunking and advising camping spectators that it’s not safe to start fires with lighter fluid by scoring 26 points with 9 rebounds.

No, I was not paid by Kia to put this in my post… although if they wanna swing some cash my way I wouldn’t throw a tantrum and brush off Pau Gasol’s hair.

Lakers face the Bucks in Milwaukee on Saturday at 5:30pm PT

Clippers face the Thunder at Staples on Monday at 5:00pm PT

He has fight. He’s got gusto. He’s got swagger. He is the perfect USC Trojan.

So could it be a possibility that Barkley has a “kryptonite”?

Every superman has had his fair share of kryptonite they have had to overcome. For instance, the original Superman had Doomsday, Kobe Bryant has Shane Battier, Tim Tebow has the act of throwing the football, and Dwight Howard has bright lights and big cities. So what could possibly be the force to end all for Matt Barkley and USC to not bask in the glory of a Pac 12 title and or National Championship this season?

The absence of Matt Kalil could be a huge benefactor to a lackluster and underachieving season for the Trojans this year as he leaves a gaping hole so wide it can allow any aggressive defender to knock the cardinal and gold right off of Matt Barkley’s uniform.

Think back to the impact that Matt kalil had for the Trojans last season. He had a blocked field goal to win the inaugural Pac 12 game against Utah at the Coliseum in front of a sold out crowd. He was consistently protecting Barkley while he was grilling steaks and throwing them to Robert Woods or Marquis Lee. He helped the Trojans average 456.8 yards of total offense, while allowing only 8 quarterback sacks (a figure that ranks tops in the nation). Kalil also excelled on special teams, where he blocked four kicks this year (2 blocked PATs, 2 blocked field goal attempts). Kalil spoke volumes in his play and protection of Matt Barkley.

Before Barkley’s decision to stay at USC, it was often speculated that Matt Kalil and Matt Barkley were a package deal heading into the NFL declaration decision. If Matt Barkley declared, so would Kalil and vice versa. Most of this speculation was due to that fact that Barkley would solely lose his protection on the front line.

To put a twist on the speculation of Matt and Matt staying or going, one stayed and one is gone. Barkley shocked the world saying he would stay due to “unfinished business he had to see through”. While Kalil declared for the NFL leaving a huge imprint on the “I’m In” sign at the beginning of the Trojan tunnel before storming past the “Play Like a Trojan Today!” banner and taking the field. Kevin Graf or big guy Aundrey Walker will be fighting for the starting OT position hopefully filling those huge shoes Kalil left in the Trojan locker room.

However, who could blame him? Kalil is projected to be the number 3 pick in the first round of the NFL draft. With a top pick like that and the dollars that follow it’s hard for Kalil not to take advantage. His brother Ryan Kalil who also played for USC is the highest paid center in the NFL and was drafted in 2007 by the Carolina Panthers in the second round.

Now with Matt Kalil gone and uncertainty taking his spot for now, it appears Matt Barkley has found his kryptonite. Should Graf or Walker not step up, Barkley will be finding himself eating grass with the likes of Oregon, Utah, and Notre Dame’s pass rush next season. Barkley is quick to get the ball out in tight coverage and in some circumstances is mobile enough to avoid a sack by scrambling out of the pocket, but one thing is for sure for Matt Barkley, he will be in unfamiliar territory not being able to throw the ball in his standard comfortable fashion.

If Matt Barkley struggles with opposing pass rush and fails to get the ball to his two star receivers, the 2012 season could be a long one for the Trojans with both the Pac 12 title and National Championship on the line.