I don’t know his name and I’ve never met him before but he is in fact the greatest Alabama  basketball NCAA free throw distraction on the face of planet earth.

This kid has what you would say, “A face only his mother could love.” Alabama basketball loves him. Opponents fear him and his giant glaring-beerfaced-eye bulging replica of a cardboard cut out of his head, and now he is famous in the world that is NCAA basketball.

I almost deem this kid as kind of a superhero. Of course we can all see his face, but who is he?

Yesterday a friend of mine, Sean Barley, sent me a link to a picture and said, “Mike my dear friend, this needs to go on your drunk sports blog.” I was hesitant to even consider for one second that what Sean had believed to be “drunk guy worthy” was even worth 10 pixels of space on my site because the guy just isn’t a sports fan. Now no disrespect or dishonor to my dear friend Sean, but he just isn’t. I would say, “Man! Did you see Bynum wreck the boards last night?” And Sean would just sit there like a dear in headlights, kind of look away for a second, and then look back at me as if I was wearing nothing but my underwear and a neon pink hat while I was attempting to dance the dougie.

Upon clicking the link I expected something pretty funny as every link Sean sends me is usually pretty hilarious. But this, this was pure gold and had everything to do with sports. Matter of fact, Sean had hit the soul of sports and what makes is tick: The Common Sports Fanatic. My computer monitor beamed of this brilliant image and I completely lost all control of my bowels.

It was something we had all seen before. It was nothing new except for one thing.

THE FACE.

I will attempt to explain no further. For I can not even begin to describe the undeniable hilariousness of what you are about to experience. Please, come a little closer to your computer monitor and gander at this while trying desperately not to pee your pants.

Remember, the longer you stare the funnier it gets. Have some self control and pace yourself.

Ladies and Gentleman, Sean and I give you:

THE ULTIMATE SPORTS FANATIC: THE FACE

Oh, and here is a video of this marvel in live action!

Written by: Mike Stanzione on February 16, 2012.